Disclaimer: Adult topic may contain adult language.
Sex During and After Pregnancy
Being pregnant can be great for many women, it can also be a major pain. Growing twice the size of your “normal” self (even if your one of those lucky women who only gain weight in their belly), morning sickness, and the millions of other things we go through while pregnant can drive a woman insane, not to mention all the hormones coursing through our bodies. Sex is something that many of us may crave during pregnancy but if you aren’t if you want nothing to do with it your not alone. During my first pregnancy sex was something I needed a lot of, I had a lot of stress going on in my life and regular sex actually helped me cope. However, in my second pregnancy, I was exhausted, I felt fat and disgusting and I didn’t want to be bothered as much. Sex is such a big part of many of our intimate relationships. Sex helps us connect with our partner on a deep, deep level. Not saying that it is the only way to connect but it is important in a relationship, and it is also important to you. You need to be able to get intimate even though you are carrying a child in your body.
Becoming Comfortable Having Sex While Pregnant
One big reason sex wasn’t a major craving the second time around (besides being exhausted taking care of child number 1) was being comfortable, but sex can still be comfortable!
While the old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for us now, there is a multitude of options to connect and keep your sex life alive and even interesting.
Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you, this makes for more shallow penetration.
You on top: There’s no pressure on your belly, you can control the speed and depth of penetration.
The side of the bed: You lie on your back on the edge of the bed with your knees bent and feet on the edge. He stands to face you. It’s like classic missionary, but he won’t be resting his body weight on you.
Living room love: Kneel on a couch with your belly facing the back of it; use your arms for support. He penetrates from behind.
Sex After the Baby
After the baby comes, sex can also be something you need or you need to stay away from. Listen to your body. Still find physical ways to connect, even if it is just hugging, kissing, holding hands, or rub on the back. Most doctors recommend a period of 6 weeks to abstain from sex including oral sex (your partner shouldn’t be going near that area). The reasoning behind your 6-week abstention to let your body heal, prevent any infection and all give you time to deal with any psychological or emotional issues, our hormones are going crazy during this time. Sex after pregnancy can be scary, especially if you have had a vaginal birth which we are assuming here. You may be scared and anxious and it may not feel good getting back on the saddle (haha! Sorry I had to say it). After delivery, there is a sudden drop of estrogen which causes our libido to plummet and the lining of our vagina thins out causing sex to feel a bit like the very first time. This can be even truer if you are breastfeeding.
Some advice, besides listening to your body is to make sure you have fun with it and communicate! Most likely your partner just watched you deliver a human being into this world, you should be able to tell them anything. So tell them how you want it, and what feels good and what doesn’t. Try to have a lot of foreplay and lubrication if needed, don’t feel weird about it. This is time for you and your partner to connect and maybe build an even stronger sexual relationship. It’s also good for them to take a little more hands-on approach with the baby so you can get some rest so you can be up for the workout!
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Has this post helped you? Do you have any advice of your own? Let us know in the comments below.
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